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Monthly Archives: January 2009

Snicker’s the dog

So this is our dog Snickers.

We have a love/hate relationship with her.

Sometimes she can be so cute and sweet and loveable and the next minute….
I told you already how she loves to bolt when she gets a chance!

Does not make the big guy happy…

We are thankful for the snow….it keeps her from going very far if she does get the urge to make a dash for it!

You should see her out there in the deep snow. She looks a bit like a rabbit jumping around trying to get through it!
One day Micah decided she needed a hat, but the hat didn’t stay on her head.

After spending a LONG time trying to put it on her he finally gave up and called it a “nose warmer”. Then he spent the next 46 minutes trying to get her to sit still so he could take a picture of his creation. She finally cooperated with his little mission and sat until he was done.

Now that I think of it….
Maybe this explains her sudden need to exit the building at great speeds!

Boxed, Labeled and Shipped

What is it about expectations that make me crazy?!

Seriously, this might be the big issue that needs some serious therapy!

Maybe it comes from the fact that I had to deal with this all my life. I never have fully accepted it and after 37 years I wonder if I ever will!

Being a preacher’s kid is not always the easiest place to grow up. Don’t get me wrong there are some perks…

Like free food at Christmas.

But there is the down side to the situation….

It’s called the unrealistic expectations that some people just naturally seem to have!

I think I referred to this back in my post

Me a pastor’s wife”?

It’s this whole notion that someone in a leadership position is supposed to be my Savior.

When I am faced with unrealistic expectations this is what I do…
I start talking out loud to myself about the situation.

I do this because:

  1. I can understand exactly what I’m trying to say
  2. I don’t have to worry that my confidence will be broken and
  3. It makes me feel like I have been heard in the end!

You should try it! Ha!

There are several things that occur to me as i process this:

A. I hate being put in a box!

B. I hate being labeled a name!

C. I hate being shipped out when I didn’t live up to A or B!

So then God stirs me to consider this:

Who have I put in a box?

What name have I given them?

And have I in my head shipped them out because they didn’t live up to the standard I had set for them. Maybe they hurt me really bad! Maybe what they did is not even justifiable!

It is so hard not to keep people in those boxes. In fact if you read the label it says exactly who they are. But when I take a closer look I realize that my name is written there too.

I too, need forgiveness.

I too, need to be released from the box.

I too, hate to be shipped on the train sent to no where.

So the lesson for me today was:

I will continue to fight against a sense of false guilt. It is not healthy to live with!

I also want to learn to let other’s out of the boxes that I have assigned them.(Even the ones who place those huge expectations on me).

I want to learn to be more forgiving.(Even to people who label me incorrectly)

And the next time I am tempted to Ship someone out(or write them off)maybe I should instead peel off the label, open the box and set them free from my expectations of them.

Every family needs one….A coffee snob!

We just had a little fun on Sunday evening eating some chips and ranch with cookie mud slides on the side…..

This is my brother Steve and his beautiful wife Regina.

They are really cool!

I mean they are so cool they even own their own coffee roasting business!

And they make really good drinks at their little coffee shop!

They are what I affectionately call, “Coffee Snobs”. That’s right, there, I said it!

Seriously, this woman knows a good coffee by the smell.

It is truly a gift!

And they know that I’m kidding about them being snobs….right guys;)??

So we just took the kiddo’s out for a little bit of fun to break up this freezing cold January night.

And then as we are sitting there my cousin Renee and her husband Stacy walk past…..

So I thought they really should be photographed as well.

It was a happening night on the town:) Even if it was Sunday night and even if it was 3 out!

Nothing big tonight…just a little lightness …and if you were wondering…

we didn’t order coffee!

Third Grade Date

We have a little tradition in our family….It’s called the Third Grade Date.
There comes a time in every persons life when they just need to have answers. It seems like
when our kids turn about 9 they start having more questions about some grown up subjects…


if you know what I mean.

A number of years ago I heard Dr Dobson say in a broadcast, “if you don’t start talking to your child by the 3rd grade about this subject you will possibly miss talking about it altogether”. (Obviously how exposed your child is to other children plays into this)

We feel pretty strongly that we want to be the ones to give our children the “details” about this very important subject. I know it doesn’t always work out that way….we just wanted to attempt to be the first.

I think it does make a difference in children. Some children just aren’t asking questions about this yet. Or some children cannot be trusted to keep confidences yet.

With out fail all three of our older children have started asking lots of questions at about this age.

So we take them out for a special date.

Malaina and I took the train to Chicago and visited the American Girl store. A memory maker indeed!
Jalen and J went to “mid evil times”. This is a dinner theater with lots of swords and testosterone drivin males. He loved it!
And now, Micah and J went to a special sporting event this past weekend….The Harlem Globetrotters game. Micah was so excited for this special outing.
It’s a coming of age of sorts and it is somewhat bittersweet for me.

We don’t give them the whole “boat load” of information, just the basics. We tell them that this is an ongoing dialogue. Any time they want to know anything they just need to ask~we will tell them what they want to know. We are as honest as we can be with them.
We have had some pretty interesting responses from each of them. We are writing them down for future amusement together. And they will say, “I said that?”
The most important part of the whole event is to open the door for on going discussions with them. So far, it seems to be a key factor in how open our children are to ask us questions.

We tell them of the importance of this. How God made it for Men and Women who are married. And that this is something that should be kept sacred. We talk to them about the importance of keeping this a private matter that we don’t discuss with others. Not even siblings.(That will come later I am sure)But for now they just need to hold this between us and them.

I did a “crash course” in a book from Kevin Lehman. It was a helpful resource…especially the last chapters.
I also found it helpful to talk while driving. It is easier to say more delicate things. It makes things more comfortable for them.
I used to stress out when I would think about this stage of life. But it really has not been that difficult. I think the more relaxed I am about the whole subject the more comfortable they are in having future conversations with me.

For those of you yet to experience this….it really can be a neat time together. Praying and talking to them.

For those who have already been here….do you have anything further to add?

Going to the Chapel

Tonight We celebrated The marriage of Karissa and Rylan.
I can honestly say I don’t know if I ever have seen a bride smile more than Karissa did tonight. So smiley!
So beautiful!
I remember when we first started attending our church. Karissa and her sister Kirstin were the two little girls that loved our then, very little children. They would take our children and play with them after church. They babysat for them during elders meetings. They were such a joy to this mother’s heart. And now here she is all grown up.
A beautiful lady who is beginning a wonderful new journey!

Here are some photos of the evening.
The pretty girl up in the corner is Kirstin.
In the lower left is Donovan and Heather.
And the lower right is Carol and Norm.
What a fun time to celebrate with them and remember,
Why we first fell in love….


Gratitude is a state of mind. I am convinced of it.
I am also under the belief that I can’t be a fearful person and truly grateful at the same time.
What does that mean?
There is something about fear that completely depletes a person of thankfulness.
If I am focusing on the thing that scares me instead of on all I have to be grateful for I consume my mind with the fear.

We have been overwhelmed with bad news about the state of our economy. And frankly in the county I live in it has been particularly bleak!
We have been prosperous for many years but have taken a HUGE hit in the past year. People have lost jobs like never before!
Companies that were booming just 12 months ago have shut their doors.
It can be very scary for all of us.
My husband has had his own business in remodeling for the past 10 years. Highs and lows go with this business~He primarily installs windows so January and February are always slower. We know to plan for slow~but this year we cheer every time a call comes in. One more job, for one more week.
Jason and I were talking today about where we are at~ for some reason neither of us are feeling fearful.
There is just this peace that God is in control and has us in his hands.
For many years I would fall into a state of panic. What will happen to us? How will we make it through? But God always has given us way more than we need!

Beth Moore once said, “God is not as concerned with my comfort as he is with my character”.

He walks us through these times~The choice on how we will respond is ours.
The thing is~ if we fail, he loves us too much to let us go~so he gives us the chance to repeat the test…sometimes over and over.
I can panic and become consumed with my fears or I can focus on what I have been given.
I am blessed beyond measure.
I really believe that!
It just doesn’t leave much room for fears to overwhelm me.

I want to be a history maker

Yesterday was a historical day in our nation. I know that isn’t news to you. Unless, of course, you don’t watch the news.

I have no intention of making this blog a political one. That is not my calling. I respect people who tell us what’s going on in the political arena and where I can be making a difference.

I have my political views but I never want to be so caught up in politics that I forget my first allegiance is to Jesus. And with that comes a love for his people that is more important to me than my world views. So, regardless if President Obama is your guy or not. He is now our president, who has been placed into office. We are commanded to respect his position and pray for him.

I watched much of the inauguration ceremonies yesterday. The part that moved me most was that 100 years ago this would have all been just a dream. So many people through the years have played a key or sometimes a very low key part in this day happening. Who would have ever thought that a slave or a black son would grow up to be President of the United States. No one back then, I am sure! It is a victory for all of us in that regard. It is triumph for all the people who risked their lives hiding and transporting people in the underground railroad. For all the tears shed and injustice that was served….it is justice for those who gave.

I have been thinking about ways that my life has been affected in other areas because of choices that my parents and grandparents made.

My grandfather was given life and put up for adoption when he was a baby. His mother chose to give him life, which in turn gave me life. She has affected four generations because of that choice.

So often it’s easy to forget the decision that I make today will affect generations to come.

It’s not just about me. My actions have far reaching implications. I may not see that today. But one day whether here or up there, I believe I will.

My decision to live my life passionately instead of mediocre does change the way I “do” life. It changes my perspective. It gives me new priorities.

How about you? What do you want to change in the world you influence? Whose life will you make a difference in? How do you want to be remembered?

Just a couple of questions I’m pondering……